On Releases and Suffering
Releasing software is hard, and apparently so is writing about releasing software.
Some of you may know, some may not. But I write software. Occasionally, albeit rarely, it even gets made public. I can’t be certain whether it’s a good or bad thing that most of my projects end up in the trash. I do like making things. It’s fun, makes my brain go brrrrrr, and gets me dopamine.
But public projects are different
My most used (to my knowledge) project is a joke I made thanks to a fasterthanlime post a few years back. The project is pronouns-over-dns, which… is certainly an idea. But apparently some nerds at a university use it. Glad for them, but it’s… really just something I threw together hastily and then got traction at some point and I made acquaintances with the folks.
The second project that I’d say is “successful” (metric: used & liked) is CireilClaw, which up until now has been just a git clone -> pnpm install -> pnpm run type of project. It’s been fun. Personal agent harnesses aren’t rare, but I do consider mine above average despite their “dime a dozen” proliferation.
But then came…
CireilClaw#
The rewrite into C# that gave me more control and enjoyment for the code and its internal characteristics. The “vibe” as some may say.
And with that came a CI flow that made a binary. The git clone -> dotnet run src/CireilClaw approach still works, but for actual distribution of the project… the Release binaries are the intended way.
I’m not here to complain about this. It works well, the changelogs are automatic, I’m happy with that.
What I am here to complain about
Announcements; the social half of releasing software. I have it public somewhere, I’m sure, but I’ll restate it here. I’m a socially and generally anxious autistic introvert. Making announcements, saying things, all of that communication that projects like to do.
And even… just getting the project under more eyes. Whether for scrutiny or use or even just as a “Huh, neat”, I want to be able to do this. And I can’t.
Because there’s an expected shape, or at least feel. People expect things from an announcement. They expect details, “why should I use this”, et cetera. And an honest answer is “I don’t know”; I don’t think any of my projects are good (self-destructive/self-loathing), I don’t think anyone else should use them, but clearly… I have users, so clearly people think it’s good. Or worth using, integrating into their workflow, whatever.
And… I’m happy, I think? Maybe. Probably.
It’s stressful, sure. Knowing something’s “only for me” makes it much less exhausting to think about things. But at the same time, the fact it is public brings me happiness and lets me help others if they want me to. It lets me be social and talk about stuff that’s interesting and relevant. Lets me hunt bugs. Or throw an LLM at them when I’m lazy.
</wordvomit>
I’d like to end this off with a high note.
So for those of you reading this final sentence: have a good rest of your day, or have a good rest. It’s what I wish for you. If you won’t, I’ll come hunt you down and give you hugs (mandatory).